Pharmacy Cast
Sep 19, 2008
- The Fat Girl who was CONVINCED she was thin. Very tight clothing... must have taken supreme acts of science to dress her. Muffin Tops abound.
- Ahh... the perpetual college dropout who made the pharmacy carry bad hangover cures just so he could try them. Always dated the unsuspecting cute teens. They didn't know any better.
- And there's me... in the middle.
- The boss who liked to go tanning. The key to finding out if he was in a bad mood or not was in how golden his bald head was. Golden like the sun... get the hell out of the way. Terrible mood swings. One day he would shower you with free candy. The next day, he threatened you with violence.
- The unassuming nice kid who everyone loved... until he stole over 1,000 Oxycontins!
- The boss' slutty daughter. We had the same birthday so she always called me "B-day twin" instead of my real name. She like to go clubbin'. Plus, she was a hardcore Yankees fan. Disgusting.
- The stupid gay teen Travis, who told me who died in Harry Potter Six. "It begins with D," he whispered in my ear. Thanks a lot!
- The co-owner of the pharmacy who was a hardcore libertarian, drove an electric car and once told me that he masturbated to a picture of me he cut out of the local newspaper.
- The most beautiful of all the pharmacists... who had an affair with the delivery guy who was dishonorably discharged from the Army. He would always show us pictures of his kids, who he wasn't allowed to see anymore... for some reason.
- The pharmacist who was 45 but thought he was 25. He smoked pot in the back room when everyone was gone. He got busted for selling coke at the pharmacy and practicing without a license for seven years. He wanted us to write a screenplay about a pharmacy where Tommy Chong was our "Drug Tester."
- Nancy, the perennially pregnant pharmacist. Very uptight. She was 35 but she looked younger than me (and I look like I'm 12).
- Gene, the quiet pharmacist. The only time he wasn't serious was when he told me one of the patrons waiting outside the pharmacy was "mean and ugly," prompting me to exclaim... "Gene! I didn't know you had it in you!"
The Litany of Prior Works
| Sarcasm | 9/15/2008 |
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